So much that I love about my Meditation group is the sharing , the sense of connectedness & intimacy that we share every Tuesday morning. Taken in relation to the Three Jewels of Buddhism, this is Sangha ~ we come together to gain wisdom, meditate and help each other. I spoke about this after our seated meditation; it was a theme that popped up in my practice a I let go of striving and accepted the moment as it unfolded.
When we were in Walking Meditation, I found myself with a raving case of Monkey-Mind. My body felt good, my pace was even and relaxed; twice I was able to release tension in my shoulders, but my mind marched on to its own drummer. It took me from one thing to the next, sticking its tongue out in contempt at the inner voice cautioning "Now, no striving...". As I placed one foot slowly and mindfully on the floor in front of me, I realized how much I felt like a tightrope walker. I was amused by this - - me, walking my imaginary tightrope. I fell twice. ;) I saw how much tightrope walking, though, *is* meditative. Your focus - your life- rests on a thin rope at your feet and maintaining your balance (insert greater life metaphor here). I then jumped mentally to the years we spent Scrambling along cliffs and high ridges in the Rocky, Adirondack and White Mountains. It hit me then how much my passion for the Mountains may rest in the mindful, meditative quality they foster in me. You don't have time to fret about life or borrow trouble from the future - - you focus ONLY on the here and now, one foot in front of the other, one finger hold at a time.
The Mountains were my first Meditation.
In my climbing, I found the 'now'. I was - had to be - present. Even when sitting down to rest on a rocky ledge, I would lose myself in the majesty, the scale of life, around me. I was nowhere else but there. I can see now that this has a lot to do with why I always felt more alive, more awake, in the Mountains. This is where I experienced euphoria. At the time, I explained it only as "I really love the Mountains. I really love climbing.". Now, I think I see another layer.
Later, in Seated Meditation, I again felt striving begin to reappear - striving to move away from contemplating the realizations of my Walking Meditation - striving and frustrated. I felt frustrated at my busy mind. Then I remembered Jack Kornfield's retelling of his own experience with "Monkey-Mind" while studying at a monastery in Thailand with Ven. Ajahn Chah. In his time with the Master, he described feeling overcome with irritation at his every busy Monkey-Mind. With a glint of humour in his eye, the Ajahn Chah frowned deeply, replying "Ahhhhh... How unfortunate; you are the only one to experience this". Heh. Good reminder. With a slight chuckle, I let go. My inner voice said "the moment is perfect just as it is". Whatever happens (or not), wherever the Meditation takes me (or doesn't), it's all good.
My mind kind of eased then. Gradually, I felt my body far below me - that slightly heady sensation that I sometimes experience. For lack of a better way of explaining it, I began to "see" ripples of movement - soft aqua merging with deep blue - like ripples of water. The voice then said "We are all water. We are water, the Earth is water. We are all the same, interconnected." I realize it probably sounds nutty to hear a voice. It's kind of a silent hearing; by this I mean, I don't really HEAR it, but it's like mentally being able to hear someone (my true self, the Witness?) speaking. It was just this really powerful sensation this hard to put into words. We are all one. With that, the ripples faded - - well, actually, it's more like I ZOOMED back "down", like landing from somewhere up high. My mind was dark and quiet. I felt my feet on the carpet again, my hands in my lap, the smooth wooden surface of my mala beads.
The Moment is Perfect Just as it Is.
We are One.
I am so grateful for this group of women who, in such a short period of measured time, have become such a big part of my life. I had cast a line out, and feel so blessed by the pure *treasure* that came to me. What good fortune.
Rereading what I journaled about a few days ago, sparked by a reading in Cheri Huber's "Making a Change for Good" (GREAT book, by the way), I realize how my nagging force of conditioned mind was trying to disrupt and demoralize me. "You've got Monkey-Mind!" it taunted; "You're striving again!!", it smugly whispered. I outlasted it. I was able to recommit.
"Life is a tidal wave. If you wait for things to calm down to start swimming with the current, you might not survive the wait."
Water. Water again. Interestingly, this make me think of what you're supposed to do if you ever find yourself caught in a riptide. Those who fight against the water succumb to it and die. Nor do you have to let it suck you out endlessly, though. Instead, swim sideways. Swim sideways to get yourself out of the riptide. Relax and just move with it. There's a greater life lesson in this.
Also fascinating, while I'm on the water thing? Nina also had water figure prominently in her Seated Meditation. She found herself remembering something that Wayne Dyer has written about God being like the Ocean, and that we all have the Ocean inside of us, the water endless and available to us in each moment.
Darla shared that she'd felt tremendous gratitude in her Meditation for the interconnectedness of all life ~ in the humans, plants and animals that share the Earth. We all breathe, we breathe together - humans, all other animals and plants; we are all connected.
It amazes me how parallel our experiences often are in these Meditation sessions. We are all connected, indeed.
~K
In case anyone is interested, here are some great dharma talks by Jack Kornfield. He's actually quite funny and entertaining to listen to, in addition to being very informed.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
things I love
just enough time for some free-associating before bed ~
I love.....
knowing at the end of the day that a warm, comfortable bed & a good book await me (even if I can only manage a chapter before falling asleep...); frogs singing in the dark; geckos on my window; a quiet, peaceful house; lazing in the pool on a hot summer day; knowing that I have an abundance of people in my life who love me & have my back; spinach salad with strawberries and blueberries; hot, strong coffee first thing in the morning; my morning ritual of going outside to rescue Junebugs from the watering containers in the garden; going outside just before bed and standing in the darkness, listening to the frogs and the occasional owl; music that breathes with me; discovering the joy of meditation; mango iced tea; going barefoot; playing soccer; walking in the woods; capturing moments in time with my camera; Hem (a new, favourite musical discovery courtesy of a friend); chili lime sunflower seeds; reading by the pool; playing cards with my eldest girl; getting my butt handed to me by my youngest girl when we play checkers; long-distance phone calls with my love; playing with clay; leftover pasta; knitting dishcloths (I've discovered I really don't have the attention span or patience for much else); painted toenails; watching The Amazing Race with my eldest; eating blackberries straight from the garden, while they're still warm from the sun; The Vinyl Cafe (spent me some time with Stuart today, I did); the smell of freshly mown grass; midnight snacks.... and, of course -
I love.....
knowing at the end of the day that a warm, comfortable bed & a good book await me (even if I can only manage a chapter before falling asleep...); frogs singing in the dark; geckos on my window; a quiet, peaceful house; lazing in the pool on a hot summer day; knowing that I have an abundance of people in my life who love me & have my back; spinach salad with strawberries and blueberries; hot, strong coffee first thing in the morning; my morning ritual of going outside to rescue Junebugs from the watering containers in the garden; going outside just before bed and standing in the darkness, listening to the frogs and the occasional owl; music that breathes with me; discovering the joy of meditation; mango iced tea; going barefoot; playing soccer; walking in the woods; capturing moments in time with my camera; Hem (a new, favourite musical discovery courtesy of a friend); chili lime sunflower seeds; reading by the pool; playing cards with my eldest girl; getting my butt handed to me by my youngest girl when we play checkers; long-distance phone calls with my love; playing with clay; leftover pasta; knitting dishcloths (I've discovered I really don't have the attention span or patience for much else); painted toenails; watching The Amazing Race with my eldest; eating blackberries straight from the garden, while they're still warm from the sun; The Vinyl Cafe (spent me some time with Stuart today, I did); the smell of freshly mown grass; midnight snacks.... and, of course -
Now, about that midnight snack..... ;)
~K
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
accepting
My Father-in-Law died on Friday. Suddenly, of heart failure. He was only 65. We loved him so much and it just doesn't feel "fair". Of course, the logical part of my brain says what role does fairness play in Death ? Death is neither fair nor unfair; Death simply comes to us all. Still.... I know that since hearing the news on Friday night that I've been caught in a circle of wishing things to be different than they are.
Enter yesterday's Meditation.
Walking - a bit of a mixed bag. I found my mind really hopping around. I learned that looking upward to the high, vaulted ceiling of the Sanctuary, drinking in the air and light, there's just no settling of my mind. I end up leaping from observation to observation, inwardly remarking "Oh, how pretty!", taking in the physical elements in the room, comparing them to our Sanctuary, which then saw me chasing my mental tail in more directions - - wondering how things are working out with their new Minister, hoping that Darla got a chance to light a candle for her brother on Sunday - - - run, run, spin, spin..... Then I started to beat myself up a bit judging *this* meditation as being less quality than last week's. Gah. Fortunately, I recognized this happening and let go - let go of my expectations and striving. I affirmed that I am doing the best I can, and what unfolds will unfold. I shifted my gaze down to the ground, and felt it soften. I relaxed my arms down by my side and felt a nice warmth begin to envelope them.
Ra Ma Da Sa, Sa Say So Hung
I practiced a bit of Metta, or Loving Kindness, Meditation. I held many people in my mind - - family mostly, but also the women in my meditation group. Some flowered with ease, some stuck a bit. Meant to type "flowed", but see now "flowered".. I'm leaving flowered.
Seated Meditation - it's amazing at how quickly twenty minutes can pass when you are just sitting quietly. I really felt good with this - it flowed, not perfectly, but I was not striving. My most audible message was "accept things as you are" (Ha! Another slip of the fingers there - -meant to write they are. I wonder if my mind is telling me more?)
Thinking of all the ridiculous, petty stuff that has been coming into our sphere since my Father-in-Law's death - only days ago - to accept it all as it is To accept each person and their reaction, releasing judgement. I can do that if I choose to.
Nina, in reply to my sharing after the Meditation, said something so poignant: "You know the song? 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'? - it tells us something really important: Row *your* boat; allow others to row theirs."
I release anger and judgement and accept things as the are. I will row my boat as best I can, and allow others the freedom and space to row their boat.
In our sharing, so many things seemed to connect and build upon each other ~ my own insight of acceptance touched Darla in her struggle to deal with her brother's cancer. Louise said something about how she had reacted to a friend's child's death - how she'd "frozen up" and felt embarrassed by her "failure to handle it better". This touched me, and I shared about how ashamed I felt when my friend had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and my strongest reaction - while concern and love for her was definitely there - my *strongest* reaction was fear. Fear for myself. I realize that I haven't really ever forgiven myself , accepted my reaction. Perhaps that is something I can do; I can forgive myself.
Nina spoke, and told of how when her niece was diagnosed with lymphoma some years ago, she'd felt so much of the same fear and guilt. She cried a bit, startled by the outpouring of emotion - "I don't know where this is coming from.". It was so beautiful.
Darla said she felt the same when her brother was diagnosed - - fear for herself, and utter shame for her selfishness. "I was more worried about myself than about him!" I think we each, in that moment, began to release something we've been carrying. Releasing the shame, beginning to let go of our guilt and self-judgement, beginning to forgive.
Isn't it funny what can come of a simple period of stillness in the company of others, having them share, reflect and resound with you?
It's wondrous. I am so grateful.
~K
Enter yesterday's Meditation.
Walking - a bit of a mixed bag. I found my mind really hopping around. I learned that looking upward to the high, vaulted ceiling of the Sanctuary, drinking in the air and light, there's just no settling of my mind. I end up leaping from observation to observation, inwardly remarking "Oh, how pretty!", taking in the physical elements in the room, comparing them to our Sanctuary, which then saw me chasing my mental tail in more directions - - wondering how things are working out with their new Minister, hoping that Darla got a chance to light a candle for her brother on Sunday - - - run, run, spin, spin..... Then I started to beat myself up a bit judging *this* meditation as being less quality than last week's. Gah. Fortunately, I recognized this happening and let go - let go of my expectations and striving. I affirmed that I am doing the best I can, and what unfolds will unfold. I shifted my gaze down to the ground, and felt it soften. I relaxed my arms down by my side and felt a nice warmth begin to envelope them.
Ra Ma Da Sa, Sa Say So Hung
I practiced a bit of Metta, or Loving Kindness, Meditation. I held many people in my mind - - family mostly, but also the women in my meditation group. Some flowered with ease, some stuck a bit. Meant to type "flowed", but see now "flowered".. I'm leaving flowered.
Seated Meditation - it's amazing at how quickly twenty minutes can pass when you are just sitting quietly. I really felt good with this - it flowed, not perfectly, but I was not striving. My most audible message was "accept things as you are" (Ha! Another slip of the fingers there - -meant to write they are. I wonder if my mind is telling me more?)
Accept Things as You Are.
Thinking of all the ridiculous, petty stuff that has been coming into our sphere since my Father-in-Law's death - only days ago - to accept it all as it is To accept each person and their reaction, releasing judgement. I can do that if I choose to.
Nina, in reply to my sharing after the Meditation, said something so poignant: "You know the song? 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'? - it tells us something really important: Row *your* boat; allow others to row theirs."
I release anger and judgement and accept things as the are. I will row my boat as best I can, and allow others the freedom and space to row their boat.
In our sharing, so many things seemed to connect and build upon each other ~ my own insight of acceptance touched Darla in her struggle to deal with her brother's cancer. Louise said something about how she had reacted to a friend's child's death - how she'd "frozen up" and felt embarrassed by her "failure to handle it better". This touched me, and I shared about how ashamed I felt when my friend had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and my strongest reaction - while concern and love for her was definitely there - my *strongest* reaction was fear. Fear for myself. I realize that I haven't really ever forgiven myself , accepted my reaction. Perhaps that is something I can do; I can forgive myself.
Nina spoke, and told of how when her niece was diagnosed with lymphoma some years ago, she'd felt so much of the same fear and guilt. She cried a bit, startled by the outpouring of emotion - "I don't know where this is coming from.". It was so beautiful.
Darla said she felt the same when her brother was diagnosed - - fear for herself, and utter shame for her selfishness. "I was more worried about myself than about him!" I think we each, in that moment, began to release something we've been carrying. Releasing the shame, beginning to let go of our guilt and self-judgement, beginning to forgive.
Isn't it funny what can come of a simple period of stillness in the company of others, having them share, reflect and resound with you?
It's wondrous. I am so grateful.
~K
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
meditation
I'm writing this in a Starbucks, sipping my grande half-caf Americano, my copy of "The Wisdom of Yoga" beside me. I just attended my first ever meditation group.... and following it up with a coffee break. I tell you, its all about embracing the different, wonderful facets of ourselves. :)
I liked it - the meditation group. It's small; I have the impression that there's probably a core group of 4 or 5 that meet every Tuesday morning. All women, it seems, and most in their 50's. I realize often that I seem to find myself surrounded by these older females in my life. I wonder, at times, if it's the Universe giving me the "mother" connection while my own Mom lives so many thousand kilometres away.
When everyone has arrived, we connect for a bit - there's the opportunity to share anything you'd like about your week, how your meditation has been going, or just general life stuff. The chalice is then lit and the bell sounds. We do a 10-15 minute walking meditation, through the sanctuary and then around back to the Library where we meet. After a few moments of silence, we reconnect - - how was that meditation for you, did anything arise for you, etc. There is then a bit of discussion based on teachings or books - - today the woman leading the meditation, Darla, read a short passage about honouring ourselves, and then each person was welcome to share her own experiences, thoughts that are evoked by the reading. Basically, you can share where you are in your journey. We follow this with a 10-15 minute seated meditation, followed by a final contemplative meditation ~ where each person can speak freely and be heard and the group considers what is shared is silence for a moment afterward, after which the next person, if she chooses, may share her experience.
It was great. I loved it. It was remarkably less intimidating than I thought it might be. 10-15 minute sessions are very manageable for me where I'm at right now. I really like the time that is given in sharing our thoughts and experiences through the meditation. I love to hear what the other women had to offer; it's such an opportunity for learning and growth. I love being welcome to share from my own heart, and have this be heard and taken in my others. It is interesting and so valuable, also, to hear feedback.
Walking Meditation: This was my first experience with walking meditation. Initially, I'll admit that a silly part of me was kind of giggling at what we must look like - - a group of women following each other at a turtle's crawl around the Sanctuary, but you know what? I really fell into it. A few minutes into the meditation I noticed that I'd been holding my shoulders up - what a tremendous feeling to just let go - release. My arms felt wonderfully heavy and warm. I found that, while the stained glass window and skylights are pretty, it felt more natural for me to focus my soft gaze a few feet ahead of me on the ground. My breath coming in gently, leaving gently; the rhythmic ticking of the clock... the warmth of silence, the texture of the ground underfoot... so much there, and it began to envelope me.
Seated Meditation: This passed very quickly for me. If anything, I would have enjoyed it continuing a bit longer. I used my mala beads and my mantra - remembering my breath, how it flowed once I connected my mantra and my breath.
(inhale) Ong (exhale) Namo (long, inhale) Guru Dev (long, soft exhale) Namo
My mind wandered off a few times - - to the future, to uncertainties.. but I was able to bring it back. My inner voice said to me that all I need will be provided to me in the perfect time and space. I realized that my abdomen was not being fully released, and so I softened it. Let go. The room was warm; to me, this helped me feel wrapped in the energy of meditation that we were creating together. It felt pretty incredible.
After the bell sounded, we sat in silence for a time. I was in this really warm, head-y state. I let myself come back slowly.
We shared a bit of our own experience. Darla asked me about my mala. I explained how touching the beads as I meditate, either with a mantra or not, helps me to ground inwardly and that, with time, the mala come to be a tactile representation to your mind to ease you entering into meditation. I also shared how my string of birth beads, given to be by friends around the World in anticipation of our second child's birth, had helped me to focus and centre myself so much during my labour. They seemed very interested to hear about this, and said how wonderful it is when we all come together, and how each person brings something new to the group and we learn and grow from each other.
I felt so very welcome and honoured to be among them. I will make this part of my life. I loved it. LOVED it.
~K
I liked it - the meditation group. It's small; I have the impression that there's probably a core group of 4 or 5 that meet every Tuesday morning. All women, it seems, and most in their 50's. I realize often that I seem to find myself surrounded by these older females in my life. I wonder, at times, if it's the Universe giving me the "mother" connection while my own Mom lives so many thousand kilometres away.
When everyone has arrived, we connect for a bit - there's the opportunity to share anything you'd like about your week, how your meditation has been going, or just general life stuff. The chalice is then lit and the bell sounds. We do a 10-15 minute walking meditation, through the sanctuary and then around back to the Library where we meet. After a few moments of silence, we reconnect - - how was that meditation for you, did anything arise for you, etc. There is then a bit of discussion based on teachings or books - - today the woman leading the meditation, Darla, read a short passage about honouring ourselves, and then each person was welcome to share her own experiences, thoughts that are evoked by the reading. Basically, you can share where you are in your journey. We follow this with a 10-15 minute seated meditation, followed by a final contemplative meditation ~ where each person can speak freely and be heard and the group considers what is shared is silence for a moment afterward, after which the next person, if she chooses, may share her experience.
It was great. I loved it. It was remarkably less intimidating than I thought it might be. 10-15 minute sessions are very manageable for me where I'm at right now. I really like the time that is given in sharing our thoughts and experiences through the meditation. I love to hear what the other women had to offer; it's such an opportunity for learning and growth. I love being welcome to share from my own heart, and have this be heard and taken in my others. It is interesting and so valuable, also, to hear feedback.
Walking Meditation: This was my first experience with walking meditation. Initially, I'll admit that a silly part of me was kind of giggling at what we must look like - - a group of women following each other at a turtle's crawl around the Sanctuary, but you know what? I really fell into it. A few minutes into the meditation I noticed that I'd been holding my shoulders up - what a tremendous feeling to just let go - release. My arms felt wonderfully heavy and warm. I found that, while the stained glass window and skylights are pretty, it felt more natural for me to focus my soft gaze a few feet ahead of me on the ground. My breath coming in gently, leaving gently; the rhythmic ticking of the clock... the warmth of silence, the texture of the ground underfoot... so much there, and it began to envelope me.
Seated Meditation: This passed very quickly for me. If anything, I would have enjoyed it continuing a bit longer. I used my mala beads and my mantra - remembering my breath, how it flowed once I connected my mantra and my breath.
(inhale) Ong (exhale) Namo (long, inhale) Guru Dev (long, soft exhale) Namo
My mind wandered off a few times - - to the future, to uncertainties.. but I was able to bring it back. My inner voice said to me that all I need will be provided to me in the perfect time and space. I realized that my abdomen was not being fully released, and so I softened it. Let go. The room was warm; to me, this helped me feel wrapped in the energy of meditation that we were creating together. It felt pretty incredible.
After the bell sounded, we sat in silence for a time. I was in this really warm, head-y state. I let myself come back slowly.
We shared a bit of our own experience. Darla asked me about my mala. I explained how touching the beads as I meditate, either with a mantra or not, helps me to ground inwardly and that, with time, the mala come to be a tactile representation to your mind to ease you entering into meditation. I also shared how my string of birth beads, given to be by friends around the World in anticipation of our second child's birth, had helped me to focus and centre myself so much during my labour. They seemed very interested to hear about this, and said how wonderful it is when we all come together, and how each person brings something new to the group and we learn and grow from each other.
I felt so very welcome and honoured to be among them. I will make this part of my life. I loved it. LOVED it.
~K
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
The Universe provides... and decluttering
Last week I went to do some poking around at a favourite resale shop. My intention was to find a bathing suit (or two) for my eldest daughter - - summer sees us spending a lot of time at the Beach and at the Pool, so having an extra suit is a good thing. While I'm *so* not a shopper, I do love the treasure-finding nature of consignment shopping. I love to see if there's anything on my Cosmic wish list that jumps out at me.
I wasn't going to browse through the books at first - if the gently sagging bookshelves in our living room are any testament, this family isn't really in need of more books. I'm more of a library booster myself, but that day I felt drawn to take a quick look. Literally 1 minute after mentally musing "I'd love a good feng shui book", I spotted the spine of "Clear your Clutter with Feng Shui" on one of the top shelves. (I know, I chuckle a bit at the irony of finding a book titled "clear your clutter" in a second-hand store - - obviously, this book spoke to it's previous owner! ;) ) I flipped through it quickly, found it to look highly readable and concise, and popped it into my cart. Totally not feng shui related, but another HUGE cosmic score from the day? A pair of J-41 Vegan shoes in excellent condition, for only $10!! Ok, so I digress, but these are *very* squee-worthy. I'd been restraining myself from buying a pair only a month ago, cringing a bit at the $80 price tag. The Universe takes care of me. :)
Back to the book.
I'm now nearly finished, with only another 20 pages to go. I felt completely inspired as I went through even the earliest chapters, and my first efforts were directed to the vanity in the main bathroom of our house. Good GRACIOUS, did that ever have come kind of clutter-attracting magical powers! In less than an hour, though, I had a bag of trash ready to take out - - with old cosmetics, 1/8 full bottles of shampoo - - you know, the ones we keep "just in case" (in case of what??) - - dull razors, scads of band-aid wrappers (are my children the only ones who seem to forget where wrappers go?), old toothbrushes, etc, etc, etc. In less than an hour I had a neat, organized bathroom vanity AND, behold, the bottom drawer now closes! Ahhhhhhh....
Over the course of the next few days, I worked my way through the kitchen cupboards and drawers. I tossed more than a dozen empty jars (WHY did I accumulate these, and how is it that you end up with 40 zillion lids that have no matching jar?) , random tofutti/yogurt/margarine containers, mugs with broken handles - - all of them, GONE. Seriously? It's like you can actually breathe easier - like there is more air available to your lungs - when you get rid of crap you don't love, need or use. I then turned my focus to the living room. Here, I enlisted the help (bribed/threatened/cajoled) of my daughters to sort through their craft corner and prune it down to things they actually love and use. I'm not sure they started out enjoying it, but there is a certain lightness that undeniably grows on you as you shed excess. I dare say they were rather pleased with their efforts by the end of it! My own desk got thoroughly decluttered and wiped down. It's amazing how much dust accumulates around a computer monitor! There is still some work to be done in the shelves that line our wall, but it's come a long, long way.
I am seriously riding a high from all of this decluttering. Admittedly, I'm a person that gets downright itchy when a space is cluttery, but still I think this is the first time I've set a very focused intention on getting rid of ALL that we don't love, need or use. It feels absolutely fantastic. It is liberating; it is like wiping clear a dirty window (yes, I did that too)... it's soul-enriching.
Amazing how much stuff can find it's way into our homes. Amazing how often, when we're *really* honest with ourselves, we're keeping things out of a sense of guilt or obligation. Letting go - - I think there is a huge link between letting go on a physical level and letting go on a mental level. It is healthful to let go, to make room for new, wonderful experiences and lay full trust in the Universe to provide for our highest good.
To quote Karen Kingston, Happy Clutter Clearing!
~K
I wasn't going to browse through the books at first - if the gently sagging bookshelves in our living room are any testament, this family isn't really in need of more books. I'm more of a library booster myself, but that day I felt drawn to take a quick look. Literally 1 minute after mentally musing "I'd love a good feng shui book", I spotted the spine of "Clear your Clutter with Feng Shui" on one of the top shelves. (I know, I chuckle a bit at the irony of finding a book titled "clear your clutter" in a second-hand store - - obviously, this book spoke to it's previous owner! ;) ) I flipped through it quickly, found it to look highly readable and concise, and popped it into my cart. Totally not feng shui related, but another HUGE cosmic score from the day? A pair of J-41 Vegan shoes in excellent condition, for only $10!! Ok, so I digress, but these are *very* squee-worthy. I'd been restraining myself from buying a pair only a month ago, cringing a bit at the $80 price tag. The Universe takes care of me. :)
Back to the book.
I'm now nearly finished, with only another 20 pages to go. I felt completely inspired as I went through even the earliest chapters, and my first efforts were directed to the vanity in the main bathroom of our house. Good GRACIOUS, did that ever have come kind of clutter-attracting magical powers! In less than an hour, though, I had a bag of trash ready to take out - - with old cosmetics, 1/8 full bottles of shampoo - - you know, the ones we keep "just in case" (in case of what??) - - dull razors, scads of band-aid wrappers (are my children the only ones who seem to forget where wrappers go?), old toothbrushes, etc, etc, etc. In less than an hour I had a neat, organized bathroom vanity AND, behold, the bottom drawer now closes! Ahhhhhhh....
Over the course of the next few days, I worked my way through the kitchen cupboards and drawers. I tossed more than a dozen empty jars (WHY did I accumulate these, and how is it that you end up with 40 zillion lids that have no matching jar?) , random tofutti/yogurt/margarine containers, mugs with broken handles - - all of them, GONE. Seriously? It's like you can actually breathe easier - like there is more air available to your lungs - when you get rid of crap you don't love, need or use. I then turned my focus to the living room. Here, I enlisted the help (bribed/threatened/cajoled) of my daughters to sort through their craft corner and prune it down to things they actually love and use. I'm not sure they started out enjoying it, but there is a certain lightness that undeniably grows on you as you shed excess. I dare say they were rather pleased with their efforts by the end of it! My own desk got thoroughly decluttered and wiped down. It's amazing how much dust accumulates around a computer monitor! There is still some work to be done in the shelves that line our wall, but it's come a long, long way.
I am seriously riding a high from all of this decluttering. Admittedly, I'm a person that gets downright itchy when a space is cluttery, but still I think this is the first time I've set a very focused intention on getting rid of ALL that we don't love, need or use. It feels absolutely fantastic. It is liberating; it is like wiping clear a dirty window (yes, I did that too)... it's soul-enriching.
Amazing how much stuff can find it's way into our homes. Amazing how often, when we're *really* honest with ourselves, we're keeping things out of a sense of guilt or obligation. Letting go - - I think there is a huge link between letting go on a physical level and letting go on a mental level. It is healthful to let go, to make room for new, wonderful experiences and lay full trust in the Universe to provide for our highest good.
To quote Karen Kingston, Happy Clutter Clearing!
~K
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