"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy." - Albert Clarke

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

meditation

I'm writing this in a Starbucks, sipping my grande half-caf Americano, my copy of "The Wisdom of Yoga" beside me.     I just attended my first ever meditation group.... and following it up with a coffee break.  I tell you, its all about embracing the different, wonderful facets of ourselves.  :)

I liked it - the meditation group.   It's small;  I have the impression that there's probably a core group of 4 or 5 that meet every Tuesday morning.  All women, it seems, and most in their 50's.   I realize often that I seem to find myself surrounded by these older females in my life.  I wonder, at times, if it's the Universe giving me the "mother" connection while my own Mom lives so many thousand kilometres away.

When everyone has arrived, we connect for a bit - there's the opportunity to share anything you'd like about your week, how your meditation has been going, or just general life stuff.  The chalice is then lit and the bell sounds.  We do a 10-15 minute walking meditation, through the sanctuary and then around back to the Library where we meet.  After a few moments of silence, we reconnect - - how was that meditation for you, did anything arise for you, etc.   There is then a bit of discussion based on teachings or books - - today the woman leading the meditation, Darla, read a short passage about honouring ourselves, and then each person was welcome to share her own experiences, thoughts that are evoked by the reading.   Basically, you can share where you are in your journey.  We follow this with a 10-15 minute seated meditation, followed by a final contemplative meditation ~ where each person can speak freely and be heard and the group considers what is shared is silence for a moment afterward, after which the next person, if she chooses, may share her experience.

It was great.  I loved it.   It was remarkably less intimidating than I thought it might be.  10-15 minute sessions are very manageable for me where I'm at right now.  I really like the time that is given in sharing our thoughts and experiences through the meditation.  I love to hear what the other women had to offer;  it's such an opportunity for learning and growth.  I love being welcome to share from my own heart, and have this be heard and taken in my others.  It is interesting and so valuable, also, to hear feedback.

Walking Meditation:   This was my first experience with walking meditation.  Initially, I'll admit that a silly part of me was kind of giggling at what we must look like - - a group of women following each other at a turtle's crawl around the Sanctuary, but you know what?  I really fell into it.  A few minutes into the meditation I noticed that I'd been holding my shoulders up - what a tremendous feeling to just let go - release.  My arms felt wonderfully heavy and warm.   I found that, while the stained glass window and skylights are pretty, it felt more natural for me to focus my soft gaze a few feet ahead of me on the ground.   My breath coming in gently, leaving gently;  the rhythmic ticking of the clock... the warmth of silence, the texture of the ground underfoot... so much there, and it began to envelope me.

Seated Meditation:  This passed very quickly for me.  If anything, I would have enjoyed it continuing a bit longer.  I used my mala beads and my mantra - remembering my breath, how it flowed once I connected my mantra and my breath.

(inhale) Ong (exhale) Namo (long, inhale) Guru Dev (long, soft exhale) Namo

My mind wandered off a few times - - to the future, to uncertainties.. but I was able to bring it back.  My inner voice said to me that all I need will be provided to me in the perfect time and space.  I realized that my abdomen was not being fully released, and so I softened it.  Let go.  The room was warm;  to me, this helped me feel wrapped in the energy of meditation that we were creating together.  It felt pretty incredible.

After the bell sounded, we sat in silence for a time.  I was in this really warm, head-y state.  I let myself come back slowly.

We shared a bit of our own experience.  Darla asked me about my mala.  I explained how touching the beads as I meditate, either with a mantra or not, helps me to ground inwardly and that, with time, the mala come to be a tactile representation to your mind to ease you  entering into meditation.  I also shared  how my string of birth beads, given to be by friends around the World in anticipation of our second child's birth, had helped me to focus and centre myself so much during my labour.  They seemed very interested to hear about this, and said how wonderful it is when we all come together, and how each person brings something new to the group and we learn and grow from each other.

I felt so very welcome and honoured to be among them.   I will make this part of my life.  I loved it.  LOVED it.

~K

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